The Adventures of Home Searching in Vancouver!

These days, I have been shopping for new place to stay in. Kind of bored with the current place and was thinking of moving closer to my new work and since I have never done this before and the fact that I have got some time before I start at my new job on July 2nd, I started searching on the internet looking for a two bed room apartment in Burnaby. As a result, I have spent the last two days viewing apartments and meeting some of the owners and I tell you something folks, I was in for some weird surprises! To name a few;

1-Some of the owners are WEIRD! or at least switch to "weird mode" when they meet a prospective tenant of their places. It's like a dad looking at his daughter's first boyfriend if you know what I mean! Seriously, I remembered the funny looks and behavior that you typically see on TV shows. Tell you what folks, I have had quite an interesting couple of days (and counting!). Let me tell this one, I met this couple whom are putting their apartment for rent, they looked fine, and the wife was of Iranian descent (or Persian as they like to call themselves here in Canada! LOL - oh, by the way, watch Maz Jobrani's stand up on youtube, look for Persians vs. Arabs, it's hilarious) and the husband looked, well, I thought he was Iranian but when he spoke, his accent wasn’t the typical Iranian English accent that I know (I'm really good with accents by the way) so I just left it there as I don't care really. I was there for a reason and I didn't wanna distract myself by trivial stuff like that. Anyway, I talked mainly to the wife as her English was much better than her husband's (but I can feel that the husband was not very comfortable, you know, a middle eastern man watching his wife leading a conversation with a another man with him standing there, feeling helpless, kind of). Her name was Zahra (so typical!) and we had a chat for about 30 minutes or so talking about Vancouver, the local real estate market, Dubai, the 2010 Olympics and some other small talk subjects. Towards the end, Zahra (having known that I was in Dubai for quite a few years, was very curious to know where I come from)asked me if I was Persian. I was expecting her question, I can see it coming so I paused, looked into her eyes, smiled and told her, no, I am from Iraq and suddenly, I saw lights go off in her husband's face although I was not looking at him (peripheral vision, one skill I acquired playing Basketball for few years and has helped me a great deal in life). So, having felt that her husband's reaction was about to blow the deal, Zahra exclaimed, Oh, Jamal is from Jordan, pointing towards her husband! But he’s been here since he was 12 (he is probably 40+ now) so I turned to him and said, Oh really, "shlonak" (means, how are you in Iraqi dialect), he replied, “Al Hamdulillah” struggling to hide the discomfort expressions shaping like wave ripples on of his face. Following that was a couple of seconds of awkward silence then he jumped to save the scene (or so he thought) and said in his poor English along the lines of "don't worry, you being an Iraqi won't affect my decision, I won't hold it against you" and my jaw dropped! WTF!! Damn, I could not see this one coming but I recovered quickly, took a deep breath, smiled and looked at him and then to his wife and smiled at her (just to piss him off really!) and then said (still looking into Zahra’s eyes) “why should I be worried, you being Jordanian, I should be holding that against you but I won’t this time for your wife’s sake” by this time he was really pissed so I started walking towards the door on the way out having decided to stay away from this place and said good bye and will get back to you folks tomorrow. That was a surprise folks especially here in Canada. Some folks just won’t change! I mean he’s been living in Canada for at least 27 years and his English is so poor which means he has not been exposed to people here and I wonder what he is doing for a living? That was one good shocker!

2-The second one was not as big but still makes you wonder what goes on into people’s minds when they are meeting prospective tenants. Anyway, I agreed to meet this lady in the afternoon at 07:00 (still sunny, sunset is around 09:30 pm these days in Vancouver). I’m usually a punctual person so I arrived on time and found a young lady standing at the main door. I approached her and asked her if she was Elia? And she said yes, I am. Elia is a nice young lady, dressed casually, and has a small mole on her left cheek. She didn't have an accent but she had that glimpse of the traditional Indian beauty features on her that was kind of attractive. So after introducing myself, I asked her if I can see the apartment and she says NO! Perplexed by her reply I asked her why? She says, well I’m waiting for my father and brother to arrive. My father does not allow me to show the flat to strangers! WHAT? Give me a break, are you kidding me? I mean we’re not in New York or the Bronx! Anyway, I bit the bullet as I liked the building so I said "OK, when do you expect him to show up? Is he gonna be late?" Elia apologetically said "I’m sorry but it seems he’s gonna be late for a few minutes, I hope you don’t mind?" I looked at her, she was not bad looking as I said and I thought a few minutes with a fine lady like Elia won't harm, so I said “well, a few minutes won’t be the end of the world!”. I tried to strike a normal conversation but she kept looking at the road and her watch, as if she does not want her dad seeing her talk to stranger kind of behavior! So, having seen that, I just stood silent waiting for DAD and made a couple of calls to waste some time! 15 minutes later, dad shows up with the brother, so we finally went upstairs to see the apartment. I went in, took a look around, the apartment was not bad, 24th floor, NW corner, nice view but the bed rooms were on the smallish side. I have seen a couple of other places in the same building earlier that morning so I was well aware of the specifications and amenities. Anyway, you can see her scanning me, looking at her dad as if she is asking him “what do you think dad?” again, dad looked tired but was also monitoring my moves around the place. I almost felt a burning sensation on the back of my neck while I was checking the place! Anyway, having experienced the weirdness and decided to pass on the place, I did my usual teasing which in this case was asking her if the monthly rental she indicated in the ad is negotiable. Boy, they hate this question but I was trying to tease so I did not really care. She was kind of surprised and looked at her dad again and then looked back at me and said “of course NO, I already dropped the price once” as if I should have known that! So I said, OK, I will get to you tomorrow (Goolee Zeezee), and said goodbye for now and left quickly.

3-Below is a list of some of the questions that the owners have listed on the application forms (yes, you have to submit an application form!):

a-“do you drink?” What the hell that is supposed to tell you?
b-“What was your income in your last job? What was your position?” This is after asking for the current salary and position. These guys want to piece together your complete psychiatric profile, hobbies, what do you like to do you in your spare time, your favorite perfume, ..everything! WTF do you think I’m renting here? Your wife? Give me a break!
c-“what car do you have? Which model and year?” another dumb question to see how well off you are.
d-“How long do you intend to stay in this place?”, this is another one of these stupid questions, the standard tenancy contract here is one year, so what do you think I will tell you? Three moths? or perhaps ten years? Would that make you happy you dumb a$$?
e-“Why do you want to move to this place?” how about because I like it! Now what?
f-“Please list two personal references and two others from work (preferably supervisor)”! Again one of these intruding questions. Why should my employer know if I’m moving to a new place?

Look, I’m not being grumpy here but really, what were you thinking? People watch too much TV these days that they think that they have become some kind of detectives and can read your mind and predict if you will be a good tenant or not. I’m sure that there are many reasons why owners are doing what they are doing but you should be reasonable here. It’s like applying for a top level NASA job! Or asking to marry somebody’s daughter in a traditional arranged marriage in rural areas in the ME.

George Carlin-Who owns you?

Although George meant this video for Americans but I can say that this is also largely applicable to Canada with minor twists here and there.

George Carlin - Religion is bullshit.

I know this particular video may throw some people overboard but it is a classic that everybody should all see! As is the case with George Carlin, the content and language may be offensive to some of you!

George Carlin, R.I.P.

Yesterday, George Carlin, the greatest comedic mind of our time died. A very sad news for me. He was a great and unique talent and no one will ever be able to fill his shoes. I will certainly miss his insightful (and sometime biting) humor and wit. I was introduced to George Carlin world by a good friend of mine, Ali, early last year (watched him on youtube) and man I loved this guy's work. Unlike most comedians, George Carlin literally pushed the boundaries and limits of anybody's tolerance. Ironically, I was supposed to attend his live show here in Vancouver on November 8th but sadly, I won't be able to. I was really looking forward to that. Many people, especially where I come from, may not be comfortable listening to what Georgie has to say because, as I mentioned earlier, George will push your limits of tolerance and we're not wired to do so but if you can really listen to what he has to say, you'll find that in many cases he is absolutely right and just spot on. I will post a couple of videos for people to see and hopefully enjoy! Rest in peace, Georgie.

We Lost and We Deserve it.

So, we lost to Qatar (0-1) and we're out of the world cup qualifiers, what a disappointment. I have to say, I was not impressed with the kind of football we played even by Asian standards. It was very obvious that our team played for a draw and risked the possibility of losing the way we just did! Damn I'm so mad!

Watching the EURO 2008, and I know that the comparison is unfair but hey, these are the same teams our team will play against if they make to the finals (which they didn't), one can see the huge difference between the European and Asian footballs. It's as if they are playing a difefrent game.

I'm not usually the type of guy who blames the coach for every loss but this time, I DO. He went in with the mentality of "a draw will be enough for us", we had only poor Imad Mohammed running solo at the front against the entire Qatari defense so no wonder why we did not score!, we played with 5 players in midfield but that did not help a lot because we were slow, un-organized, and could not even pass the ball accurately and there was basically no plan, since the very beginning, you see the gola keeper shooting the ball from a goal kick! something I have not seen for years! these long aimless shots reminded of how we used to play we were teenagers in our neighbourhood! and I should add, the players did not do their best at all, we have seen what they can do and what they did today is not even close to what they can do.

All in all, we did not deserve to win cause we did not play for it and Good luck for the Qataris and for the Iraqis, try to be positive and find yourselves something else to make you feel better, perhaps "Mheibis" or "6aolee".

Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Somewhere Over The Rainbow Lyrics

Found this on youtube and very much liked it. Hope you enjoy it.

Oil giants lining up for slice of Iraqi resources!

So, here we go folks, this is it and this is what it's all about! so, having failed to pass a law that will virtually hand over Iraq's natural resources to the the GIANT oil companies soon enough, the Iraqi government is handing out two-year, "NO-BID" contracts (wink wink) to companies that have been "ACTING in ADVISORY ROLES" to the Iraqi Oil Ministry in recent years. These companies are the U.S.-based Exxon Mobil and Chevron, Royal Dutch Shell, France's Total and the British oil company BP. Their offers are preferred to 40 other contractors from Russia, China and India! I wonder why?!!! well Assem Jihad, the oil ministry spokesman, said the ministry chose companies it was "comfortable working with" under the charitable memorandum of understanding agreements, and for their technical prowess. "Because of that, they got the priority," he said. WOW, I'm sure the same crteria is followed all over the world, right? what a heap of BS.

Now let's have a closer look folks: first these are NO-BID contracts! and I would like to ask WHY? WHY NO BID? do you think that Iraq will get the best out of this deal by making these a NO BID contracts? OF COURSE NOT! Furthermore, Let's assume that these folks were playing advisory roles to the minister of oil in Iraq, do you think that these guys will give advise that would undermine their long term interests in Iraqi natural resources and any opportunity of giving their respective companies an edge against other oil companies that are willing to fairly compete? NO, of course.

Also, if the Iraqi oil ministry wanted some advise from oil experts, don't you think that it would have been much cheaper to hire experts and pay them handsomely rather than now pay $2.0 billion in No-bid contracts in return for some advise and some management expertise to the oil ministry? what do you think Me Shahrestani?

Few final points I would like you to know or refresh your memory about. These are; 1-Back in 2003, all the Iraqi governmental establishments (buildings, HQs, warehouses... absolutely everything) were left out by the US forces for the looters to virtually strip them clean EXCEPT for the Oil Ministry HQ! 2-Iraq's 2008 budget of US$46.8 billion was calculated based on US$57 per barrel oil, roughly less than half the current market rate. I wonder where the extra income will go, we'll see! keep an eye on that. 3-Condi said in an interview on FOX News "The United States government has stayed out of the matter of awarding the Iraq oil contracts. It's a private sector matter". Really! I mean why do you want to insult our intelligence? do you really think that anybody with some brain will buy that? give me a break.

Now that I Have Some Spare Time!

I am currently in between jobs which means I have plenty of spare time and this is a luxury I have lost back in 1998 when I first started working in Dubai. So, with the dull weather that we've been having here in Vancouver for weeks, one of my main daily activities is watching a lot of sports on TV. As I mentioned in previous posts I have been watching the EURO 2008 CUP tournament (two games a day!), I was also watching the NBA finals which concluded today with Boston Celtics becoming the new champions (what a series it was), and I also watched some golf, a sport that I'm trying to learn to play, and watched the US Golf open which also ended yesterday with Tiger Woods winning it in a very interesting way. Other than watching TV, I usually spend my time reading, surfing the net, go to the Gym and go to the movies which is one of my favorite activities. As for the night activities, I usually go out and the destinations change every night but one of the regular places that I have been going to is Kino Cafe on Cambie St where I get to enjoy beautiful Flamenco dancing and listen to live Flamenco music and it's growing on me. I love it.

Iraqi Government Proves it Again!

So the Iraqi Government, having provided the Iraqis with all the necessities of everyday life on top of security never before heard of in the world and the Iraqis feel so lucky that they finally got a break from years and years of suffering and pain and overcoming insurmountable harsh living conditions without hope has finally paid off, so the patriotic Iraqi government, having done all this and more (the list is too long that it may take hundreds of blogs to cover that!!!), have decided to start paying attention to the very few things that need to be taken care of and one of this tiny things is the issue of the presence of Mujahidee Khalq, the Iranian opposition group in Iraq. Today, they have decided to practically seize their operation in Iraq and I won't be surprised if they hand them over to our "friends and neighbors" Iran.

Iran has since 2003, has left no stone unturned in pursuing harm to Iraq and Iraqis and played every dirty trick in the books to do so and what did our leaders in the government do? they return/reward that by kicking out one of the very few cards that they can almost readily use against Iran (that is if they want to use them in the first place which obviously is not the case!). This is politics 101, "IF" you want Iran to stop interfering in Iraq, start interfering in Iran by supporting the likes of Mujahidee Khalq and others and then you have a couple of cards that you can show on the negotiations table, otherwise, you have nothing to negotiate with. Obviously, that is not the intention of the Iraqi government here!!!!!

One last thing that I would like to remind the government and Mr Al Hakeem of is that during Saddam's era, many of the current militias in power including like Badr Brigades, were considered terrorist in the eyes of Saddam but Iran did not kick them out of Iran, on the contrary, Iran supported, trained and financed Al Badr brigade sparing it for a rainy day and the day came in 2003. Now we see Badr Brigades is well positioned in the Iraqi army, the interior ministry and many other sensitive position. Why not do what Iran did, I'm sure we Iraqis will benefit from Mujahidee Khalq some time in the future rather than kicking them out considering that these folks are un-armed?

The Most Un-Patriotic People on Earth!

What I’m gonna talk about here is something that I have thought long about and have discussed with my friends and family many many times by now and every time I raise this subject, I get nowhere in terms of getting people, Iraqi people to think and to be objective about this issue. This issue is a “Murgatna Ala Ziyagna, i.e. مرگتنا على زیاگنا ” issue. This is an Iraqi-to-Iraqi talk that nobody else other than Iraqis has the right to get involved in.

Most Iraqis agree that Saddam Hussein was a tyrant and a war criminal and during his era in power, Iraqis suffered the unthinkable and when he was toppled, I for one, was very happy to see his time as a ruler of Iraq come to an end and was really looking forward to a much brighter future for my country and see Iraq takes it’s position between the nations of the world. Iraqis have suffered enough under Saddam and they deserve every chance to live and lead a normal life but that, of course, did not happen. Instead, Iraqis have and still are suffering yet again but now under the rule of a bunch of traitors who have sold their souls and their country to the highest bidder be it the US or Iran in the most disgustful and disgraceful way.

With the wisdom of hindsight, one has to think WHY? Why Iraqis have to go through this? What did we do that no other nation in the entire world has done that we deserve all this forever going agony and suffering? I don’t know really and wish somebody can tell me BUT what I know is that we Iraqis are the MOST UNPATRIOTIC PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET! Why? Because you would think that after sharing all the pain under Saddam (excluding most of the traitors in power whom have not shared that with the rest of Iraqis and which explain their indifference about Iraq and Iraqis), we Iraqis would really be looking forward to turn the page on the Saddam Era and look forward to re-building our country and shaping up a better future for us and for future generations but what we did? We get engrossed into a sectarian civil war provoked and initiated by our very neighboring enemies and we spend all our might and energy killing each other and meanwhile the people whom we elected (and we can’t blame anybody else but ourselves for electing those traitors) to lead us out of the mess diligently rob us of the chance of a better life to the last Iraqi Dinar and laugh their way to Swiss banks (if you know what I mean)!! Did we do what the Germans, Japanese or even Koreans did? NO! Why? Because we don’t love Iraq enough to remember that it is not about us now, it is about our country! We failed miserably as citizens of this great country. We are no match to our ancestors and forefathers who built this country over thousands of years and now we are just a bunch of losers fighting for short term gains forgetting the blessing of being called an Iraqi and what that means.

One more thing, where do you think these politicians that we elected to lead us come from? They didn’t come from another universe or traveled through a fourth dimension from a parallel universe! No, they are Iraqis born and bred (wait, many of the most influential politicians were “imported” by the genius US administration but that’s for another future blog) that WE elected! Nobody else elected them but we and we did that because we are ignorant and stupid enough to believe in the religious leaders (and these guys are one rotten bunch of power and money hungry criminals, Sunnis and Shiites, no exception) who know very well that peace and harmony do not serve their interest in power and money, lots of money, and Iraqis bought the advice of their respective religious leaders and look where are we now! It is fair to say that Iraqis are paying the costly price of their bad and ignorant choices. We should take a moment (may be longer than that from some of us!) as Iraqis and think, really think hard about what we need to do to save ourselves and our country from being divided and sold to Iran, the US, Saudi Arabia or anybody else cause Iraq deserve better. The question is: are we worth that? Think again!

In closing, many of us still blame Saddam for what is going on in Iraq and that’s, with all due respect, is a heap of BS. Yes he (or his actions) may have been behind some of our misery but Saddam (having been long captured and hanged) is not the reason. It is us and it’s time to admit that and work for a better Iraq, otherwise, we (and Iraq) will be history and not a bright one for sure.

Give the Power to Iraqi Christians

I have been watching how ALL the corrupt and criminal Iraqi so called politicians (Shiites, Sunnis, Arabs and Kurds) have been systematically pushing the whole country to the ground, doing anything that may spring in anybody's mind (no matter how filthy that mind can be) to steal more and more out of Iraq's money with an unprecedented disregard to their citizens interests let alone the country's interest, the citizens who elected them to power in the first place!

I can bet any money that you will not find anywhere in the world a government that really COULD NOT CARE LESS about their country! They literally gave this term a new meaning that nobody has ever managed to demonstrate. They raised the “I couldn’t care less” bar so high (or should I say so lowered it so low!) to a never been explored territories ever by human kind. Ok, I think we all get it now, I hope.

Now, back to the point, having thought about what would be the best way to get Iraq out of this mess caused by the corrupted political system and I got to a very interesting conclusion, give the power to Christians whom to me are way more patriotic! I know most of Iraqis will be shocked to hear that and I’m sure that this has not crossed the minds of many of us but bear with me a bit, the main reason why we are in such a mess is that the Islamic political parties (Shiites and Sunnis) have proved without any doubt that they do not deserve the trust of Iraqis to put it politely. All what these Islamic parties care about is money and power, plain and simple and they will do anything to keep that no matter how evil, filthy and inhumane any action will be and they will do it because on each side they will find a Sayed or an Imam who will tell them that what they did or will do is approved and blessed by God (which raises many questions in my mind but will keep those for a future post). So the best thing to get out of this is Give it to the Iraqi Christians, let them govern the country and give the Shiites and Sunnis the Parliament to work together as an opposition front. With this, you can guarantee that things will be fair and square. Christians will govern knowing that the Islamic parties will be breathing down their necks waiting for them to cock up, Islamic parties will use their energy to monitor the performance of the Christian government which will give them something to toy with other than f*cking up the lives of Iraqis as they have been diligently doing for the past five years and I guarantee you, Iraq will be a much better place for Iraqis. Just think about it, it may sound odd but believe me, if it was given the chance to happen, it will work way better than it is now (mind you, anything will be better than the mess Iraqi is in now). Peace for now.

Iraq Football (a.k.a. soccer) Victory

Yesterday, Iraq defeated China 2-1 in the world cup qualifiers putting them back in the game!!! Qatar (armed with a blend of international "recently" naturalized players) lost 3-1 to Australia on their home ground which was even better news for us. Iraq will play against Qatar in Dubai next week with a chance of qualifying if they win or draw against Qatar so my prayers to the Iraqi team, I really wish them all the best cause Iraqis very much deserve a glimpse of joy.

Al Maliki's Visit to Tehran

So Mr. Al Maliki is just back from Tehran where he was trying to calm down the bosses' concerns regarding the security pact currently being discussed with the US. He is in a tight corner here, since he can't say NO to the US (knowing that without the US support, he will be out on his sorry a$$ at a drop of a hat) and he also knows that if the bosses in Tehran (having done a great job infiltrating the Iraqi government up to the highest levels for the past five years) were unhappy with his patriotic actions (yet to see some of these!) and decided to replace him, they can easily do that and in number of ways.

I am not sure what Al Maliki was really trying to get out of this visit? the official word is that he's trying to assure the bosses in Iran that any US bases in Iraq will not be used to launch any attacks against Iran in the future. Now I stand corrected here but having monitored the American way of doing things in Iraq, I don't think that the Americans will even bother telling him or the Iraqi government (current or future ones) of any plans to strike Iran. They just won't. Why would they? they will be taking the element of surprise out of it if you know what I mean! Anyway, I guess the whole purpose of the trip is to swear allegiance (again!) . As expected, Al Hakeem (Iran's main man, whom is already there) joined Al Maliki there but I don't really know under what official title he was representing Iraq? wait, on second thought, and considering how much Al Hakeem and his family own in Iraq by now, he does not really need any official title to talk on behalf of the Iraqis!

P.S.: Al Maliki had to take off his tie when he visited Ali Khamenei (!!!!) knowing that the ayatollah will not be happy to see one of the boys wearing a tie in his presence. A new low for Al Maliki let alone visiting Al Khomeini's burial ground.

Lots of Sports Action!

Well, these days I'm enjoying lots of sports action on TV and it's been absolutely great! We now have the EURO 2008 which has just started, the NBA finals taking place now (I'm currently watching game 2 of the face off between Boston Celtics and LA Lakers), the French Open just finished, I watched Rafael Nadal crushing Roger Federer on clay again!, the Stanley Cup play offs finished last week with the Red Wings deserving win of the cup and finally watched Iraq beating Australia 1-0 in the world cup qualifiers and kept their hopes alive, phew, if Iraq lost or drew, then any hopes of qualifying would be down the drains. So, as you see, it's pretty busy here folks.